India vs England – Dhoni has Cook scared silly

24 Oct

Cricket is a bit silly. There, I said it. It’s out there.

Yes, it’s wonderful and intriguing and it confuses the shit out of American people, but ultimately, it’s bloody silly.

Not that ‘being silly’ is a bad thing. John Cleese is very silly. So is Sreesanth, and who doesn’t love them? I certainly do. I often think Sreesanth would have made a good seventh member of Monty Python. He’s certainly funnier than Eric Idle.

Silliness is an intrinsic part of cricket. Forget field placings, batting orders, bowling attacks and selection committees, the best teams and the best individuals all have a silly streak.

All the true legends of the game are capable – either as a player or an individual – of doing something completely fucking bonkers, and it’s through these moments of genuine ‘whatthefuckdidhejustdo?’ that they inspire others and create their own legacy.

Nowhere is that truer than in the limited overs arena, and it’s England’s lack of a person capable of genuinely silly deeds (Jade Dernbach doesn’t count as silly, although his tattoos arguably fall into the category of ‘flippin’ stupid’) that is leaving them lagging behind India in this ODI series.

And it all stems from the two captains.

On the one hand, school prefect and (probable) collector of pressed flowers, Alistair Cook. He’s not a silly sort of bloke, and nor has he ever done anything on a cricket field that might ever be labelled as such.

He’s never going to slog three sixes in an innings, never mind in consecutive balls. He’s not going to – either as a captain or an individual – ever do much that will make punters or commentators sit open-mouthed in bemusement and awe. He’s just not an inspirational bloke. The 766 runs in Oz were incredible and I love him for it. It was magnificent. But I can’t remember with clarity a single stand-out shot from that mega haul in Australia. He’s a run-making machine. He’s England’s present and future. He’s just not MS Dhoni.

Ah, MS Dhoni. He used to have long hair. He slogs, and slogs hard. He’s a wicketkeeper, which instantly makes him cool. He could probably smash a stump over his forehead and split it clean in two. I’d be willing to bet he’d probably even win a fight versus a Grizzly Bear, and then nurse it back to health after he’d punched it’s light out.

And that’s without even mentioning that he won the World Cup with a fucking SIX! Alistair Cook would have won it with six singles, or an inside edged four down to fine leg.

Face the facts: MS Dhoni is a silly cricketer. No, more than that, he’s a bloody RIDICULOUS, once-in-a-generation cricketer. And that’s why people love him. That’s why people respond to him as a player. And that, most importantly, is why his players respond to him as a captain. He is capable of producing something out of the ordinary.

The summer’s failure against England is looking increasingly far away for a rejuvenated Indian side. For England, Andrew Strauss’ calm composure works in the Test arena. But in the hit-or-miss world of limited overs cricket, unpredictability is needed. Silliness is needed. Alistair Cook stars in a British advert for bottled water. It’s a shit ad. Dhoni took the mickey out of himself in an advert for Pepsi. Therein lies the rub.

So, either Alistair Cook captains the final ODI wearing a fez and comedy glasses, or they should give the captaincy to Swanny. Either way, England fans need cheering up. Craig Kieswetter’s impression of a clown behind the stumps just isn’t enough anymore.


Oh, and don’t forget, you can download TWO FREE chapters of my debut book ‘Chasing Sachin’ – about my summer spent trying to convince Sachin Tendulkar to let me bowl just ONE ball at him – published by Pitch Publishing, home to Jarrod Kimber and David Tossell, from here: Chasing Sachin – FREE CHAPTER and Chasing Sachin – FREE CHAPTER 2

And ‘Chasing Sachin’ is available to order NOW at WH Smith


3 Responses to “India vs England – Dhoni has Cook scared silly”

  1. Minal October 24, 2011 at 7:55 pm #

    Brilliant this post – I was in splits reading the Cook Vs Dhoni comparison! Linked it up on my blogpost.

    • adamcarrollsmith October 25, 2011 at 12:53 pm #

      Thanks Minal – if you like this, you’ll love the book…full of more stuff like this, and the tale of my summer trying to bowl at Sachin. Cheers! adam


  1. Cook the Geek - October 24, 2011

    […] also know he will be the target of many a posts like this brilliant one by ACarollSmith . I could not stop laughing reading all that Smith says about Cook and nod my head […]

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